I first saw a psychologist when I was 15. My anxiety was the worst it had ever been. I was having anxiety attacks very few days and sometimes multiple times a day. I never really left the house. When I did thoughts about other people thinking or laughing at me consumed my mind.
My psychologist gave me really helpful tools to manage my anxiety. Like how to be more mindful and aware of my emotions and what causes them. I thought I was doing okay. I was managing my anxiety but in reality I was still struggling. Mental health is a process and I’m still healing now however many years later it is.
I’ve been working on how to let people go in my life. I had friend during school that manipulated and belittled my sister and I. I thought that everything was going to be okay once I finished school. But I was wrong. I was consumed with thoughts of them, constantly reminding myself of what they had done. I put myself in a position of reliving my traumas over and over again. About how angry they made me and what I wanted to say to them. But it never helped me. I was overwhelmed with the fact that I couldn’t let it go. It was getting to the point where it was having a negative effect on my mental health.
Through my therapy sessions I’ve been able to forgive their actions. While also trying to get an understanding of the cause of their actions. So yes it has had a lasting effect on me. But I’ve been able to move on but also addressing the fact that it did happen. It has been so freeing to be able to let go of this and remember that it has made me the person I am. I know now how to tell the difference between a good friend and someone that I shouldn’t keep that close to me.
Now I have some amazing friends that are so kind and generous and I know that they will be there for me when I need help or support and I’m so grateful for them.
But I’m choosing to see a psychologist to help manage my mental health before it gets too much. By doing this now I will be able to help myself later on in life by learning important tools that will aid me in my adult life.
This of course is not available for everyone and I completely understand everyone is in a different position in their life. But therapy is for anyone, you don’t have to have mental health issues or past traumas to want help. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk about the things going on in your life to someone.
Check out the link to the New Zealand mental health foundation website as they have heaps of contacts for free support within NZ.
If you need help please reach out to these services, or ones local for where you live. You are never alone and there are people out there that want to help you.
Yours always,
The lovely being x
